"what you're blogging an episode two nights in a row and actually finishing the season WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH KATIE"
shhh. there is no need to be upset.
no tears now. just dreams. (and also the hour). let's do this thing.
(p.s. pretending I don't have any responsibilities in order to watch this you're welcome)
okay first I just CAN'T with the extra guy who announces the police raid on El Paradis, I mean if you've forgotten please watch that scene again because this guy took his one line waaaayy too seriously
"THIS! . . . IS A RAAAAID!!!" like yes thank you for making that clear I was wondering what all those armed police officers were for
but I digress
(this portion of the liveblog brought to you by Thoughts I Have During The Theme Song)
psssshhhh I just spit all over my screen because Lix told Bel there was a "Mr. Kendall" waiting for her in her office and I spent a good 30 seconds going "who the hell is Mr. Kendall" when all of a sudden SURPRISE IT'S MCDREARIPANTS
LIKE WHY THE FUCK DO I NOT KNOW YOUR NAME ALREADY
that doesn't even suit him
OH SHIT Drearipants is having a meltdown in the middle of the office and I am LOVING IT
of course your relationship isn't going anywhere Drearipants, BEL IS IN LOVE WITH FREDDIE
and she has 54 minutes left to admit it #sobbing
Is it Mr. Lyon?
ding ding ding we have a winner
What one *should* love about me is that I am a strong and capable woman.
you go girl
whoa ho ho Stearne has gone total badass mode with this crackdown on corruption, I'm just not sure he remembers his own involvement
(to Stearne) You live in this place where you don't acknowledge anything!
thanks for the back-up Hector, I gotchu babe
Asdfghjkllahdjdkl Isaac is sat in a cupboard listening to his own radio play
My own dad wouldn't even give me away.
You should have asked me.
I AM FUCKING CRYING AN OCEAN RIGHT NOW, THE WHOLE GODDAMN PACIFIC I TELL YOU
(to Kiki) You don't have to be afraid.
What, like Rosa didn't have to be afraid?
she makes a fair point, airhead
(to Freddie) Oh my god. Even you're worried.
and that's the sign that this story CANNOT BE GOING ANYWHERE GOOD.
(to McCain) Are you saying that you want to help us?
Yes, perhaps I am.
McCain is the bEST character, your argument is invalid?!? I don't know, he's just been the wORST for so long, I'm so conFUSED
I JUST SCREAMED AND SENT MY FAMILY RUNNING BUT OMFG WE DON'T NEED TO TALK WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING AAAAAAAAHHHHHH FINALLY AHHH AND THEN HE KISSED HER asdfghjklasdfghjjladfhhkkl
YOU ARE POSSIBLE WITH ME
YOU ARE POSSIBLE WITH ME
YOU ARE POSSIBLE WITH ME
SOMEONE HELP ME I HAVE TURNED INTO A GIANT TEAR
ack she's so freaking happy look at her happy squeeing face
and now I'll wait for the impending unhappiness sigh
Ditch the desk.
/everyone stares at him, horrorstruck/
yep I'm pretty sure that was the actual stage direction no one can convince me otherwise
oh my fucking god Marnie's pregnant isn't she oh my fucking god oh my jesus christ holy fuck
oh jesus fucking christ on a fancy fucking motorbike she is
I can't take this anymore, Hector's just going to accept it
I GUESS THERE WAS A REASON FOR THE WHOLE "SURPRISE IMPOTENCY" PLOTLINE
oh and now we're back to the Randall and Lix angst, their daughter's totally dead isn't she
"killed with both her parents in an air raid" hurrah
Would you forgive me if I asked you to go?
I... I can't move.
on a list of things that are not okay LET'S ADD ME JFC I'M SO DONE
AND THAT FUCKING BEE IS BACK IN MY WALL, I THINK IT JUST ENJOYS MOCKING ME
I'm sorry I just identify with Randall so much it's kind of hurting me
also that was simultaneously the saddest and the scariest sequence I think I've ever seen
did Freddie just tell Kiki "you're the bomb" I just I don't even anymore /flips laptop off bed
won't be following
Kiki to the studio
okay with this
did Freddie just fix his hair even though he's probably about to be beaten to death or something equally horrific because if so I'm about to turn this show off
that is just too fabulous for me Freddie
ouch that was right in the balls
What if he doesn't get here?
Why wouldn't he get here?
he can't walk right now Bel he just took some serious damage to the nuts
if I have to watch
AFTER EVERYTHING THIS SHOW HAS PUT ME THROUGH
OR IF WE END ON A CLIFFHANGER OR SOME SHIT
I WILL FUCKING CUT A BITCH
did he have to cry GOD FUCKING DAMNIT THIS IS NOT OKAY
no seriously this is actually THE MOST HORRIBLE, ANGST-RIDDEN THING I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I HATE YOU ALL
NICE FLASHBACK THERE BBC
BRB CUTTING MY HEART OUT WITH A BLUNT KNIFE
BECAUSE IT MIGHT ACTUALLY BE LESS PAINFUL
FUCK THIS SHIT
are you fucking kidding me is that it is he dead
wow okay and now hector and kiki are both throwing stearne under the bus and for some reason I don't feel that he deserves that even with all his hypocrisy but whatever not like I was expecting anything from this show at this point
well that Stearne suicide thing probably would have been a bigger surprise had they not shown it in the preview last episode but I guess that was their form of a trigger warning
and then Pike or whatever sold out Cilenti, not surprising, I hope they both get what's coming to them IN THE SEASON THAT WILL NEVER COME HAHAHAHA
OH GREAT BEL ACTUALLY DID WRITE FREDDIE BACK AS WELL BUT NEVER SENT THE LETTER, THAT'S SYMBOLIC AS SHIT
I definitely had to reread my own liveblogs to remember what was going on this time and like jesus christ I wish I talked about the show more because all I seem to have refreshed on is how cute FREDDIE and Isaac are and something about fuzzy sweaters
Yes my phone just automatically capitalized Freddie that must mean we're back THAT'S IT I'M BACK EVERYONE
sorry I'll start talking about the show now
oh, how I have missed you, jazzy theme tune
AW FUCK FREDDIE IS CUTE THOUGH LIKE FUCK
okay so apparently Rosa Maria DID die see good I remembered her name
I still have all these feels for Sey, especially now with the "GO HOME"
Still no Mrs. Lyon?
She's, uh, still with friends.
(about the nasty GO HOME message) It's not going to wipe the smile off my face today!
I JUST SQUEAKED AT YOUR CUTENESS COME HERE AND LET ME LOVE YOU
" BODY OF WOMAN IDENTIFIED AS ROSA-MARIA RAMIREZ "
MARNIE AND HECTOR ARE NOT I REPEAT NOT ALLOWED TO BE ACTING THIS CUTE AFTER EVERYTHING THEY'VE PUT ME THROUGH JFC
and now Hector's jealous of freaking Alistair or whatever his name is OF ALL PEOPLE. you blew it Hector you had her AND YOU LOST HER
Close the door, Mr. Wengrow.
yeah Isaac get your shit together
Bel is about to lose her shit here I can acTUALLY SEE HER losing her marbles, she's like "you dumb shits a girl HAS DIED"
I leave it in your hands, Mr. Lyon. Leave McCain to me.
why is Randall such is a foreboding badass I don't know do you.
McCain you's in trouuubbbbbble
other side note:
there is a bee trapped in my wall okay carry on
I am legit crYING after that last Freddie/Bel exchange WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU FREDDIE
like, I would quote all Bel's ice-cold lines but it would take all day so instead I'll just stick with DAMN
oh shit Kiki just found out about Rosa-Maria
oh good and Dreary McDrearipants is back it just keeps getting better.
I don't know, it just amuses me how this is a BBC program and they're not-so-subtly painting ITV as the bad guy
Madness is a prerequisite for any good journalist.
just like dayum with your rhetoric, man
did Freddie just blackmail Stearne I think he did.
You know, we're all polishing buttons, Mr. Lyon, otherwise why would you be pursuing this story with such fervor? You talk of my ambition when... All I can see is your own.
APPLY COLD WATER TO BURN, dayuuummmm.
A BURN FROM STEARNE.
... I'm truly sorry for that one.
ooooooh Mr. Brown's meeting up with McCain dis gon be gud.
lololol Randall and McCain have matching glasses how cute.
I am sick as a dog as I type this, please don't judge me.
Like, I am talking "when Cameron was in Egypt's land, let my Cameron goooooooooo" sick
what's that you say?
oh, that? the broken heart?
oh well silly me I forgot to mention SEY GODDAMN WELL PROPOSED TO SISSY AND ISAAC FOUND OUT ABOUT IT AND YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS STUPID PATHETIC BROKEN-HEARTED FACE I HATE THIS SHOW AND I HATE ALL OF YOU.
... NO, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS YET, I AM UPSET FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS.
1) obviously Isaac and his goddamn stupid puppy dog eyes
2) CLEARLY SISSY/ISAAC ARE MEANT TO BE CANON AND SO PROBABLY SOMETHING REALLY HORRIBLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO SEY WHO I ALSO REALLY LIKE
3) fuck that's why Sey was so happy this morning which is really ominous because now something is definitely, definitely going to happen to Sey AND I DID NOT WANT TO PAY THAT PRICE FOR SISSY/ISAAC
4) THAT IS, IF ANYTHING EVEN HAPPENS THIS GODDAMN SEASON BECAUSE IT GOT CANCELED LIKE JESUS CHRIST
if that atomic bomb on the news reel was supposed to be symbolic of this story blowing up in everyone's faces (again) then fuck me gently with a chainsaw I am done with this show
SISSY'S ALONE OMG IT'S TIME TO MAKE YOUR MOVE ISAAC.
They're recording my play. Now. Right now, and I'm in a cupboard.
Because I haven't said it yet this episode ISAAC BB LET ME LOVE YOU.
Look, I don't mind being in a cupboard with you!
IT GOT WORSE
Aren't you going to say anything?
THE LOOK OF PURE SHOCK AND JOY ON HIS FACE AND THEN SHE JUST DESTROYED IT, AND HE STILL DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING, AND I JUST CAN'T OKAY?!
they tried to balance it out with Randall and Lix being cute I AM ON TO ALL YOUR SHIT, BBC
I can't give her children. She doesn't know yet.
WELL THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.
BRINGING YOU SURPRISE IMPOTENCY.
(to Bel) For someone so brutally honest with everyone else, you display such blatant deceit when it comes to yourself!
for those of you just now joining the program YES HECTOR JUST TOTALLY CALLED BEL OUT ON BEING IN LOVE WITH FREDDIE
Back. I hear his wife's still away. And well, you did always have a penchant for the married man.
You don't want to meet Bill, (is this Drearipants' real name I don't have a fucking clue I thought it was Phil) you want to come out with me.
No I don't, I want to go out for a civilized meal with a civilized man.
JESUS CHRIST BEL, TURN IT DOWN A NOTCH.
Stuff dinner, come with me.
Oh, jump when you want me? You have a wife for that.
attention the first aid tent will be passing out ice packs following this conversation
It's over. It's, um... It's just over. Me and Camille. something about not missing her asdfghjkl I lost track of his exact words because I MISS YOU MORE /hand on arm
I am a sobbing mess right now I just can't even he wrote her LETTERS and just gET ON A PLANE and and and hold me.
oh and back to Randall and Lix IF YOU THINK THEIR CUTENESS IS GOING TO FIX ME THEN YOU ARE WRONG.
OH OF COURSE IT WASN'T THEIR DAUGHTER THANKS A LOT FOR THAT BBC.
Congratulations. He's a lucky chap.
Thank you, Isaac.
but then his face just falls and why is this the worst episode ever
yes good idea Drearipants spill all Hector's contract secrets to Bel she's sure to keep them safe
MARNIE'S GOING TO EL PARADIS WITH HECTOR, YAYYY
(to Randall) You are a fantastic drunk.
It has been said.
THESE TWO, I SWEAR.
Hope is all we have.
an accurate summary of that exchange
*cuddling Lix* That's a start.
that's me dead on the floor help
NOW IT'S BEL TO THE RESCUE
*smiling* I don't know what anyone's talking about.
basic character summary
also, she is the best
Success is the best revenge.
I stand by my previous assessment
excuse me did Cilenti just say probably the most awful and sexist thing ever said on television and did it just come out of nowhere YEP.
LOLOLOL MCCAIN BROUGHT A GIRL WITH HIM, IT'S A BIT LATE FOR THAT, M'BOY.
War is a game played with a smile.
I just don't even know anymore, the writing's just so good
intense-raid-blahblahblah then Bel almost tells Freddie something as per usual ON THE PLUS SIDE Hector and Marnie are a thing again hoorayyyy!
it didn't end on a cliffhanger like normal what
EXCEPT FOR IN THE "NEXT TIME" APPARENTLY SOMEONE IS GOING TO SHOOT THEMSELVES I think Stearne
also it will be the last episode ever of The Hour since it got cancelled so there's that to look forward to